yeahhhh

when I was in 6th grade I burned the back of my hand with an eraser, I felt better after that, I continued to burn myself with erasers for a year, then I switched to knives and burning, I have been doing that for 3 years. I have attempted suicide 14 time, and been to a treatment center for 50 days. I have been depressed for 7 years, been cutting for 3, been to therapy since I was 6. I have been raped and molested, been in abusive relationships, yet I'm still here, 14 attempts later...what do you think it means?




if you look at my left arm, thighs, stomach, back, feet, neck, ears, lips, fingers, and scalp, you would be scared......I wear my scars with pride. I'm proud that I didn't cut deeper, burn hotter, scratch harder. I didn't die. I'm proud to say that I am a recovering cutter, it's a form of addiction, I'm an adict. I may never be able to be around large knives without supervision, but that's better than being 6 feet under. 


I was raped, bitten and cut by the same person. I stayed quiet about it, I was too scared to say anything, she would have killed me if I had told anyone.


Don't apologize, it isn't your fault, you didn't hurt me like she did.


And Nico, if you are reading this, I like the song "love the way you lie" because I can connect to it, please please don't ever apologize for things that Kayla did, you are the best friend I ever had, you and Jo Jo, but don't apologize. Don't feel sorry for me, don't cry for me, just love me. I'm okay, really. I have not forgiven her for what she has done, but I stopped letting it control my every move. I love you Nico.